Is It Wrong Not to Travel to a Family Member Funeral
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Funerals are emotional occasions, and deciding to attend is often a difficult decision. In the instance of estranged relationships, family unit conflict, and fifty-fifty work schedules, things aren't always easy. If you lot're deciding whether to nourish a wake or funeral , you might experience guilty almost your decision.
Bound ahead to these sections:
- Etiquette for Missing a Funeral
- What to Do If You Tin't Make a Funeral
If you're asking whether it'due south wrong if y'all don't want to attend the funeral, the answer isn't ordinarily black and white. Funerals aren't nigh the dead. In reality, they're a manner for the family to observe comfort and peace.
While information technology'southward commonly a skillful thought to attend the funeral if yous're close to the deceased or the family, this isn't always the case. You shouldn't feel wrong about not wanting to attend the funeral, peculiarly if you accept a legitimate conflict. In this guide, nosotros'll explore what to do if you lot decide non to attend the funeral.
Virtual funeral tip: If the funeral is taking place well-nigh using a service similar GatheringUs, in that location are fewer reasons not to nourish. All the same, some of the points may still utilize if you're not sure you want to bring together the event. And if the family unit is hosting a hybrid funeral service, you may be able to nourish virtually rather than going in person, even if you live nearby.
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Etiquette for Missing a Funeral
If yous must miss the funeral, there is a certain etiquette to follow to exist respectful. Near people understand that non everyone is bachelor and able to attend. Hither is the etiquette to follow for missing a funeral.
Tip: Our post-loss checklist can aid you navigate the entire complicated process of losing a loved one.
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When you should absolutely become the funeral
There are instances when you lot should admittedly go to the funeral. Y'all should ever become to the funeral if:
- If you're an immediate relative of the deceased
- If you're shut relatives or friends with someone immediately related to the deceased
- If y'all're able to take off work and afford any travel needed
If whatever of the above utilise to y'all, so information technology's respectful to attend the funeral. Your omnipresence helps the bereaved family experience cared for and supported. If you're not comfy going lone, you probable tin bring someone with you for support.
Remember that this day isn't about the deceased. It's about supporting the close family. If you're in any way tied to the close family unit, it'southward polite to testify your support even if you didn't know the deceased very well. Every family wants to run across a big group there to support them and the deceased in their time of demand.
When it may be okay to skip the funeral
Sometimes information technology's okay to skip the funeral. In full general, if your presence would be unwelcome in any manner or a disturbance, yous should observe another way to pay your respects. Here'due south when it may be okay to skip the funeral service:
- If your presence will upset the close family of the deceased
- If yous're not close to the deceased or their family unit
- If the event is non open up to the public
- If yous're unable to have off work or get bereavement get out
- Your family unit or professional obligations the collides with the elapsing of the funeral
- If bereavement flights are too expensive or difficult to coordinate
- You're ill or taking intendance of a loved one who's sick
Logical complications oftentimes happen, and they're understandable. When in dubiousness, think most how you might feel about this conclusion a twelvemonth from now. Will you regret not going? Volition you feel like you made the correct pick? This thought process should help with clarity.
Funerals bring a lot of feelings to light. Relationships go more complex, and information technology's non always easy to know what selection to make when information technology comes to attending the funeral. If whatever of the above situations apply to you, it might be okay to skip the funeral. All the same, you should still offer your support through another method.
What to Practice If You Tin't Make a Funeral
If you can't brand the funeral for whatsoever of the reasons above, you tin can still show your support. Taking some time to do something nice for the bereaved family unit leading upwards to or after the funeral shows you're thinking of them.
1. Call the family
The easiest way to prove your back up is as well the simplest. In the age of technology and social media, picking up the phone and talking to someone ways a lot. To permit the family know you're thinking of them, give them a call. Offer your sincere condolences , and ask if there'southward anything else they need.
This is also an appropriate time to inform them that y'all're unable to attend the funeral. However, keep your explanation short. This isn't the fourth dimension for a long-winded chat. Short and sweetness is always all-time.
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2. Ship flowers
Flowers are a powerful way to show sympathy. In many cultures, flowers play a large office in the symbolism effectually funerals. Sending flowers to the family unit'due south home or the funeral service in accelerate lets you be there in spirit if y'all can't nourish.
Your local flower store likely has arrangements specifically for funerals. Include a sympathy note with your flowers and make certain they're sent in time. Alternatively, you can order a vase of fresh-cut flowers from Amazon and ship it to their address. Flowers are a sign of respect in most cultures, and this is a welcome gift. Alternatively, you can
3. Mail a sympathy carte
Delivery your sympathy messages via snail mail. Picking up the telephone is e'er a kind gesture, just so is mailing a sympathy card, like i of these simple, blank sympathy cards. Offer your condolences with a thoughtful card addressed to the family in their time of demand.
Your bill of fare is enough on its own, only you might always wish to include some extras since you're unable to attend the funeral.
Here are some ideas of appropriate sympathy gifts to include with your menu:
- Family unit photographs (especially ones with the deceased)
- Sympathy or religious quotes
- Souvenir cards for take-out or other food delivery, similar to a place like Amazon, DoorDash, Uber Eats, or another similar company
- A donation to a cause that meant something to the deceased
4. Bring the family food
If you're unable to attend the funeral, in that location are other means to show your support. One of the best ways is through food. When the family is grieving, they're not e'er able to focus on cooking or other chores. These might seem like small things, only they add together upwardly rapidly.
Preparing a home-cooked repast or purchasing something from a favorite restaurant is a kind, thoughtful gesture. When delivering your meal, ensure it'due south in a disposable container or a dish you don't want back. Gifting condolement food that'south quick to set up offers sustenance in a time of demand. Food really brings people together, and funerals are no exception.
5. Help with housework
Similar to the thought above, housework piles upward rapidly after losing a loved one. Offer assistance if you lot live locally. Helping with housework and other chores is often welcome days or weeks after the funeral.
The deceased family is usually spending this time managing their grief. Taking over on the cleaning and other chores lends a helping hand when information technology's needed most. When in incertitude, ask the family what they need from you. Some easy chores to take over are:
- Pick up older kids from school
- Babysit older children
- Clean the domicile
- Do yard piece of work
- Go grocery shopping for the family
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6. Make a care package
If you're not local to the grieving family unit, it's hard to know what to offer if you tin't attend the funeral. You're non able to do acts of service, like cooking or cleaning. What else is there? Creating a care package is a great way to show your support if you can't physically be nowadays.
There are a lot of things to include in a grief intendance package. Consider how you felt if you've always suffered from a similar loss. What did you lot need nearly? Call back of comfort items, like a warm blanket or a favorite snack. These small tokens of kindness mean the world to those you love.
If y'all don't want to make your own DIY care package, you can send a pre-fabricated box, like this sympathy souvenir box, and send it right to their door.
7. Follow up afterwards the funeral
Attention the funeral is a great way to prove your support. However, as we already covered, this isn't always possible. Y'all tin can still show you care by following up with the family after the funeral. The family doesn't finish their grief afterward the funeral. This continues for weeks or even months.
Being there even when others are moving on shows they're in your thoughts. Telephone call every other week to check in, offer to aid when you can, and simply show up for those you love.
Offer Comfort Exterior of the Funeral
While the funeral is a chance to support the grieving family in their time of need, this isn't the simply style to offering comfort. If y'all're unable to attend the funeral for any reason, this doesn't mean you tin can't still be at that place for those who are facing this loss.
Information technology's considered proper etiquette to pay your respects in another way if you're unable to attend the funeral. While you shouldn't experience guilty if you lot can't attend, you should take action to award the deceased and their family.
Sources
- Sullivan, Deirdre. "Ever Go To The Funeral." National Public Radio. viii August 2005. NPR.com .
Source: https://www.joincake.com/blog/is-it-wrong-not-to-attend-a-funeral/
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